How I Got Over My Fear of Starting Therapy

“I should probably go to therapy,” I told my friends for about a year and a half before I actually took the leap. It’s a hard thing to do, starting therapy, when hardly anyone you know has done it: none of my family and only one of my close friends. I second-guessed myself constantly at the start. Did I really need this? Wouldn’t it be awkward? Would it actually be worth the money? And, of course, finding a therapist isn’t easy, so I had plenty of opportunities to procrastinate, and I took full advantage of them.

At some point, though, my coping mechanisms ran out, and I felt like I had nothing to lose. It’s scary to start something new, but it’s not fun to be anxious and unhappy all the time, either. If you’re trying to psych yourself up to start this process, or if you’re just wondering what’s it like, here’s what starting therapy was like for me.

Should I Go to Therapy? Here’s How I Knew

You don’t need to have a mental illness to go to therapy. Even if you know this already, it bears repeating, because this stigma makes a lot of people think therapy isn’t meant for them. In truth, therapy can be beneficial for everyone. But still, I heard these things for years before I even thought about going to therapy. Making this decision is a personal journey, and the factors are different for everyone. Here’s why I started therapy:

• I didn’t know how to handle my emotions. The best way to describe what I was feeling was pent up, like I had all this stress, fear, and anxiety building pressure inside. My old tricks (journaling, exercise) felt like only temporary fixes; the feeling kept coming back.
• I felt overwhelmed by everyday life. Small decisions felt impossible to make, I catastrophized like a pro, I got anxiety about every little thing — on top of the whole “the world is ending” feeling I’ve had for the last two years. I was so overwhelmed, I started getting emotional and upset over even the smallest inconveniences. I felt like I wasn’t equipped to handle anything.
• I just wanted someone to talk to. I could open up to my friends and family about some of these issues, but couldn’t get past the idea that I was burdening them or that they might judge me. It was comforting to think that a therapist wouldn’t judge me (they’ve presumably seen just about everything in their profession) and that it was their job to listen to me and give me advice, so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about overloading them with my problems.